The Kinky Coffee Break

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by Hypno-Domme Imaginatrix to learn all about Erotic Hypnosis.
 
You’ll learn about how erotic hypnosis can have many different applications and flavours in a scene, how you’re probably already accessing elements of this and the trance states it induces, what a HFO is and why everybody wants one, and some of the things you need to consider if you are going to play with this in an ethical way. 
 
I suggest you give this one a listen. You know you want to!  
 
Imaginatrix - Trix for short - has a passion for Hypnotic Hedonism. Trix works full-time as a hypnotic content creator, Hypno-Domme, and BDSM educator. An eternal switch, her hunger for hypnosis is boundless, whether she's melting minds or being mesmerised. 
She is a certified hypnotist trained in Integrative Hypnosis and Sexual Freedom Hypnosis® techniques, and co-organises the only regular Mind Play class in the UK. She makes up half of Mesmerotic, a hypnokink fetish video production company showing real hypnokink scenes, and brings her erotic hypnosis to Patreon and Loyalfans. She loves deep-diving into hypnotic technique and thinks hypnosis is an incredible tool for connection and pleasure.
 
The main link for Imaginatrix’s stuff is: http://hypnotichedonism.com. You can also get tranced by Trix on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hypnohedonista find her at Kinkfest (where she’ll be teaching): https://fetlife.com/KinkFestUK and you can find awesome tees like the one Trix is wearing here at: https://hypnotic-hedonist.teemill.com/. You’ll have to do your own research to find the Hypnosis vs. F-machine clip we referenced… (sorry!)! 
 
You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

We welcome Bear Phillips back to The Kinky Coffee Break for this episode on Big/little dynamics. 
 
We cover quite some ground here, starting with what these dynamics are about and some of the common misconceptions around them. We discuss the benefits of age play for both the little and the Big, and what’s needed to support this kind of play in terms of skills, boundaries, and integration. I am very interested in this topic, so it was a delight to get into it with Bear. 
 
Bear Phillips (he/ him) is a poly-sexual, polyamorous, and kinky-slut by night, and a trauma-informed bodyworker and a sex & love coach by day. In his coaching with men, he works with questions of masculinity and how patriarchy impacts our ability to have meaningful and authentic relationships.
Bear has been involved in various forms of therapy and personal development for more than half his life, having recently completed the *Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training* with Gabor Maté. 
Edited by Bear Phillips & Ellie Rose, “DADDY!” The Healing Power of Big/little Play: An Anthology. On the transformative potential of inner-child work, role-play and conscious kink, is now available for Kindle here: https://amzn.eu/d/02OpxxJ4 or as a paperback here: https://amzn.eu/d/03SrCFwN. Enjoy!
You can find Bear at www.bearphillips.co.uk or substack: @bearphillips1 / bearphillips1.substack.com/. He’s also on IG: @bear_phillips / instagram.com/bear_phillips/ and FB: facebook.com/bearphillipsUK. 
You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

I was definitely scratching an itch of my own curiosity this month when I invited DK Green to chat with me about the Leather Community! 
 
DK gives us a peek into life as part of a leather family, including the dynamics and values that it's built around. From the subculture’s roots in gay community, we will hear what's changed and what's drawing a diverse range of people to leather today. 
 
Pop the kettle on and buckle up for a lively and enticing conversation!
DK Green (AKA DK Leather) has been the head of the UK KRuel Leather Family since the nineties, the first non-gay-male leather family in the UK. He’s a Master, Owner, Daddy, Leather dominant, and a respected and well known (notorious) speaker and educator in this field. He’s also a polyamorous, shamanic, trans man!
Additionally he’s a respected/experienced Psychotherapist, supervisor, speaker, educator, author. Psychodynamic core integrative, holistic, national/international via Zoom. Serving GSRD communities (gender, sex, relationship diversities) aka LGBTQIA+, CNM (consensual non-monogamy), kink (BDSM/leather), tantra, sex work, & the intersectionalities of neurodiversity, disability/chronic illness, race & culture.
Links: http://linktr.ee/dkleather
Email: daddyk67@gmail.com
You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. For info on upcoming courses, workshops, and events, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events 

This month, I’m joined on the podcast by the sexy polymath that is Alison Pilling to talk about the long journey of erotic discovery. 
 
Ali shares what’s been helpful, what got in the way, and what advice she would go back and give to her younger self. 
 
This was such an affirming conversation that is full of helpful insights for those of you who are seeking to discover more about yourself through exploring sexuality, just as much as those of you who are already years into your journey! 
 
Alison Pilling is the creator and host of The Sex Lectures, as well as a mentor and teacher on the UK Sexological Bodywork training. She lives in Corfu where she’s transforming a former yoga bnb into something much less wholesome. 
 
Growing up in a repressed Catholic household has had a lot to answer for and Ali is as surprised as anyone to find herself in this groundbreaking field. The good news from the other side of an erotic exploration is that reclaiming and expanding sexual expression is possible. However tricky, heartbreaking or exciting, it’s ultimately an expansion of the self and soul. 
 
Ali may speak for many of us in feeling like we sense there's more out there, but we aren’t sure what. Discovering erotic and personal freedom allows us to begin to know more of who we are, what we want and how to ask for it. How do we get to define, feel and express what we want for ourselves? Exploring the answers to these questions, taking a chance gives us a chance of building a life full of connection, courage and choice.
 
Check out Ali’s work at: https://sexschoolforgrownups.com/ or find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alison.pilling.5. The next Sex Lectures will be taking place on Monday 16th February in Manchester, UK and you can find details and tickets here: https://buytickets.at/sexschoolforgrownups/2009456 (I’m on the lineup to give a talk about The Privilege of Love!) 
You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. For info on the upcoming courses, Getting into Ethical Kink, and POWER & PRESENCE, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events

This month, we have our first returning guest on the podcast - Christian Red - to talk about the most common issues in bondage. 
 
Shibari has exploded in popularity in recent years. And, whilst it’s great to see so many people exploring this as an art, form of intimacy, and technical challenge, it comes with some pretty significant risks that may not be obvious at first. 
 
In true Christian style, this discussion - and the guide he has recently published on the topic - break the risks down in a way that is easy for even the most inexperienced kinkster to grasp. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in bondage. 
 
Christian is a rope/takedown teacher based in Nottingham who has been teaching since 2012. His focus as an educator is giving people tools and ideas to express themselves by breaking complex topics into simple ideas. Christian Red's involvement in the kink community has lasted 20 years so far. In recent years, he has taught at Prague Shibari, Athens Rope, Anatomie Studios, Rope On!, Rope Office Hours, String Fling, UKREX, and Oxford Peer Rope. He's also a regular guest teacher at The Kinky Classroom and will be running an Intro to Shibari ONLINE course starting 27th January 2026, which you can find at https://www.tickettailor.com/events/pleasurerebels/1987006 or check out all upcoming events, courses, and workshops at https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events 
 
The free rope safety digital publication Knot Without Risk, which we reference throughout this episode is available in multiple languages: https://www.christian-red.co.uk/knotwithoutrisk 
 
In addition to this, Christian has also released over 100 rope video tutorials and has been a frequent contributor to the online platform Shibari Study. Check out the Bondage Tuition channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bondagetuition
 
Christian Red’s first appearance on The Kinky Coffee Break podcast was Episode 7, in which we talk about censorship in our industry and the impact this has not only on educators and practitioners, but also on YOU! 
 
If you can, make sure you support Christian to keep producing quality educational content via his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BondageTuition 
 
You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

This month, we are joined by the pioneer that is Dr Betty Martin as we explore The Wheel of Consent. Betty shares how The Wheel originated in kink, how it’s both simple and very much not simple in practice, how it can give us insights into what’s happening in relationships, and the impact other forms of power have on how we negotiate. AND we both share how The Wheel can be a helpful way in to exploring D/s and power play. If your understanding of consent is as permission seeking and granting, then hopefully this episode will open your eyes to some of the depth and nuance that is often overlooked in the conversation. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years (some of it legal and some of it questionable) - 30 years of Chiropractic and other modalities, then later, 15 years of Somatic Sex Education and Surrogate Partner Therapy. Also Contact Improv and other kinds of play. She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a cutting edge model of receiving and giving, based on touch but amenable to non-touch practices as well. She is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, and developed a 5-day training in the Wheel of Consent for practitioners, which took her around the world, and then trained others to teach it so she could retire. She currently mentors helping professionals, from psychotherapists to sex workers, and all stripes of hands-on practitioners. You can find Betty’s work (including plenty of FREE materials and her book) here: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/. For information on trainings related to the Wheel of Consent, visit the School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/ You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

Join me and my special guest, Dr Liam Wignall, as we take a deep dive into the kinky subculture that is Pup Play. 
 
You’ll learn what it enTAILS(!), who typically engages in this type of play, and some of the many benefits people say they get from immersing themselves in this world. We also touch upon academic research on kink more broadly, neurodivergence and kink, and lots more. This conversation definitely got my geeky brain going!
 
Dr Liam Wignall is a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Brighton. His research focuses on sexual identity, behaviours, and communities, with a primary focus on kinky sexual practices and subcultures - he has written about this in his book, Kinky in the Digital Age. He’s published over 30 academic articles on a range of topics related to sex and sexuality.
 
Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age can be found here. Use discount code ASPROMP8 to get 30% off (and, fellow geeks, this MAY work on other books on the Oxford University Press site, although we can’t guarantee this!)  
 
You can find Liam’s research profile as well as links to his academic papers here: https://research.brighton.ac.uk/en/persons/liam-wignall/ 
 
Liam recommended that listeners/watchers read Gayle S. Rubin’s The Catacombs as a book that inspired him. You can find information on that here: https://read.dukeupress.edu/books/book/1560/chapter-abstract/173959/The-CatacombsA-Temple-of-the-Butthole?redirectedFrom=fulltext, and he also mentioned a resource for people interested in finding out more about Pup Play: https://www.pupplay.info/
 
You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.
And, finally, why not take the Kink Orientation Scale quiz for yourself: https://thekinkscale.com/ (I got 74 out of 90, in case you’re interested!)

We are back with Series 2 of The Kinky Coffee Break and this month we are joined by special guest Daniel Morrison for a suuuuuper interesting conversation about queering sex! 
 
We covered some realy juicy topics in our chat from energy genitals to multiplicity, and how we can access polarity beyond the binary genders. Whether you identify as queer or not, there’s a lot of food for thought in this episode. 
 
Daniel is a psychotherapist, writer, and parent. He offers EMDR trauma therapy as well as talking therapy and specialises in working with gender, sexuality and relationship diversity. He's passionate about creating spaces to facilitate connection for the Queer community, exploring movement, intimacy, consent and boundaries, and has run workshops around sacred sexuality, conscious kink and pagan sex magic. Daniel is also a Clinical Associate of Pink Therapy, and his writing has appeared in Non Binary Lives, Queering Gestalt Therapy and the forthcoming Pink Therapy book. His own poetry book, Effing the Ineffable, is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Effing-Ineffable-Daniel-Morrison/dp/B0F4XH914K
You can find Daniel’s work at Q Changes: https://www.qchanges.co.uk/. We also referenced two other resources during our conversation, both of which I highly recommend checking out. You

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by the fabulous Mark Cusack, author of the recently published book: Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality. Fluidity feels like such a core part of my own identity and personal journey but it’s a topic that’s rarely spoken about or visible, even within LGBTQ+ communities, so I was delighted to bring Mark on to the podcast to shed some light on this! Tune in to hear how fluid sexuality is way more prevalent than you might think (and not just in humans!), how it’s not just another trend or phase, and why it’s a controversial topic within the LGBTQ+ community. As well as being an author, Mark (he/they) is also a lecturer, content creator and coach who specialises in supporting people with complex, fluid or undefined orientation and gender. Mark runs the support site @notdefining where he posts educational content about the diversity of the sexuality and gender spectrums, as well as experiences from his own life as a bi+/asexual fluid person. Mark lives in Liverpool where he delivers talks, teaches trainee psychotherapists and writes articles on LGBTQ+ issues. He was formerly LGBTQ+ representative for the UK Civil Service. His home town is Kilmarnock in Scotland and he is a proud member of the autistic community. If you’d like to learn more about this topic, check out Mark’s website: www.notdefining.com, find him across social media @notdefining including the wonderful YouTube channel, and order a copy of the book via the publishers: https://uk.jkp.com/products/fluid. You’ll find my work including upcoming events, courses, and workshops at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. And if you have a question that you’d like us to address in a follow-up, please drop me an email at hello@pleasurerebels.com. We’d love to hear from you!

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by “the Nigella of parenting’, Roma Norriss!
 
I learnt why it’s essential that parents DON’T shut down their sexuality, in a permissive, perspective-shifting conversation that highlights the ways in which over-serving parenting isn’t actually making us the best parents for our kids. 
 
We covered a lot of ground in this conversation - from the surprising overlaps between parenting and kink, to how we can handle some of the practical issues if you exploring kink and sexuality in a house that you share with children. I’m massively inspired by this conversation with Roma! 
 
Roma Norriss (she/her) turns around scratch-your-eyes-out-hard family situations where nothing else has worked. She can be sighted in a naughty red dress but in actuality spends most of her time coaching internationally from her bed in pyjamas with her hair standing on end. Roma has been working with parents (as a Birthworker, NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor and Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor) since 2006 and is a warm, overconfident, prolific, playful, pattern interrupter who somehow has the answers to your life. 
 
Based in Somerset, she sponges up any opportunity for intimacy and is an all-round bothersome wrestle-maniac. Lifelong foodie, she loves feeding people and when the chips are down is prone to escaping to the tropics for a God plug-in. What she doesn’t want you to know is that she actually finds children quite tedious and has been forced to master parenting only for the sake of making her own children significantly LESS so. Known for her warm, human, and forgiving approach, Roma is also deeply invested in exploring how intimacy, connection, and kink can coexist with the demands of parenting and is constantly navigating the complexities of exploring her own sexuality as a parent. She regularly appears on TV, Radio, webinars, conferences, panels and podcasts, including Newsweek, and Juno Magazine.
 
If you’d like to find out more about Roma and the amazing work she does, check out her website: www.romanorriss.com or head straight to the resources page: https://www.romanorriss.com/resources
 
And if you have a question that you’d like us to address in a follow-up, please drop me an email at hello@pleasurerebels.com. We’d love to hear from you!